I can never visit Geoffrey and Allyson again!
04.06.2009 - 04.06.2009 17 °C
"Why?" you ask.
Well, for those of you who have read all my posts, you will remember where I started with this blog: Mosquito Madness Parts I and II. You will also remember that I went to visit Geoffrey and Allyson in Bequia -- and whatever you would never imagine could happen on a vacation, did!
Airline strikes ... unexpected layovers ... being attacked by mosquitos and sand fleas (sort of like Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds but with bugs) ... the revenge of the mosquito netting ... the destruction of a guest bedroom ... the need to unexpectedly move to a hotel ... raw chicken ... suffocating insects the size of rodents in pillow cases ... need I go on?
So here it is, almost 2 years later. This time I am going to visit them (and have a meeting), where they live in Prince Edward County.
Instead of driving I decided to take the train. So much less work. So much less hassle.
Now the previous incarnation of me would have taken a taxi to Union Station. But now that I am "enlightened" I decided to take the subway. It is, after all, virtually right outside my front door. And I am only going for a couple of days so all I'm carrying is a small overnight bag, my laptop and my purse. It's not like I have major luggage!
The wheels on the overnight bag (and the balance) turn out to be crap, I discover as I waft across the street -- having to stop and right it every step of the way, but never mind. It was cheap, that's what you get I guess, for being frugal (I wouldn't know, you see, because the urge doesn't strike me very often).
Down I go on the escalator. Into the slot on the turnstile my last token goes (I had planned to buy some but as luck would have it there was no attendant on duty). Never mind.
Now this was no ordinary turnstile. You actually walk into this one. So what do you think happened?
I got in and, with my hip, pushed the turnstile. My computer got in. My purse got in. You know what's coming next, I just know it!
My little overnight bag got stuck under the part of the turnstile that was behind me!
I tried to back out and start over. Oh no, because I had already started to move forward it had locked behind me. No going back, in other words.
I tried to get the turnstile in front of me to revolve forward so at least I could get out and try to figure out what to do about my suitcase. Oh no, because my bag was stuck and I was still in the middle of this mess the forward motion was locked.
So there I was: Stuck in a very tiny, cramped space. With a purse, a computer bag and a suitcase that wasn't going anywhere.
Oh, did I mention that I was totally alone? Not a human in sight. Can you imagine? In a subway station? At lunch time? In Toronto???
So I started to scream. "Help!" I yelled. "Help!! I'm stuck in the turnstile!!!!" (I am sitting here now repeating the story laughing out loud, wetting my pants -- but at the time it was anything but funny.)
Do you remember those TV commercials? The "I've-fallen-and-I-can't-get-up" spots? Well, this is the new campaign: "Help, Help, I'm stuck in the turnstile and I can't get out!!!!!!"
Did I see anyone? Did anyone rush over to help me?
Of course not!!! I'm going to see Geoffrey and Allyson!! Do you really think it would be that simple? Now do you understand why I can simply never visit them again?
By now I was sweating and desperate. So I did what anybody in my position would do. What anybody with my limited capacity to move in any direction would do.
Not caring whether or not I ripped the luggage ... not caring whether or not I ever saw any of the contents of that blooming suitcase again ... I yanked it for all I was worth! I mean, yanked!!
And, because it's cheap and vinyl (albeit very cute -- it is brown and pink paisley -- which is why I bought it) it slid right out from under that turnstile like I'd greased it with butter. You know very well that if it had been expensive and leather the top would have gone in one direction and the bottom in another.
All in all I was probably there "stuck in the middle" for about 5 minutes. To me it felt like an hour!
The rest of my adventure to Union Station was, thankfully relatively uneventful, but the day is still young. So stay close to your computer. In all likelihood you'll be hearing from me again.